10 Things I Hate About You

EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY

Groups of students stand around. Michael and Cameron continue their walk.


MICHAEL
(Continuing)
To the left we have the coffee kids.

COFFEE KID 1
Whoa!
(spills his coffee)

COFFEE KID 2
That was Costa Rican, butthead!

MICHAEL
Very edgy. Don’t make any sudden moves around them.

They step down and pass a table full of white boys with dreadlocks and prerequisite Jamaican berets.

MICHAEL
And these delusionals are the White Rasta.
Uh, they’re big Marley fans. They think they're black.
Semi-political, but mostly...

CAMERON
Smoke a lot of weed?

MICHAEL
Yeah.

They now approach a few kids dressed as urban cowboys.

MICHAEL
(continuing)
These guys...

CAMERON
Wait wait. Let me guess. Cowboys?

MICHAEL
Yeah but, the closest they’ve come to a cow is
Macdonald’s.
(laughs at his own lame joke)
Hah hah...Macdonalds!

They approach a group of studious-looking teens who are bent over
textbooks at a table.

MICHAEL
These are your future MBAs- We're all Ivy League accepted.
Yuppie greed is back, my friend.
(to the group)
Hey guys. How ya doin’?

One of them looks annoyed and mutters something about “Bogie”. It is, in fact
BOGIE LEVENSTEIN himself, leader of the academic geeks. Why does he mutter his
own name? Maybe he just likes to speak in the third person...

MICHAEL
(continuing as they walk away)
Yesterday I was their god.

CAMERON
What happened?

MICHAEL
Bogie Levenstein started a rumor that I...that I buy
my Izods at an outlet mall.

CAMERON
So they kicked you out?

MICHAEL
Hostile takeover. But don’t worry. They’ll pay.
Now over here...

CAMERON
(Suddenly distracted)
Oh my god!

BIANCA, a young cream puff of a blonde girl, walks by in slow motion.
Cameron is in deep smit.

CAMERON
(Continues)
What group is she in?

MICHAEL
The “don’t even think about it” group.
That’s Bianca Stratford. A sophomore.

CAMERON
I burn! I pine! I perish!

MICHAEL
Of course you do. You know, she’s beautiful and deep. Pure.

Bianca walks with her friend, CHASTITY, a cute and seemingly less loquacious
version of herself.

BIANCA
Yup, see, there’s a difference between “like”
and “love”. Because I like my Sketchers, but I love my Prada
backpack.

BIANCA’S FRIEND
But I love my Sketchers.

BIANCA
That’s because you don’t have a Prada backpack.

BIANCA’S FRIEND
Ohhh!

MICHAEL
(To Cameron)
Listen. Forget her. Incredibly uptight father,
and it’s a widely known fact that the Stratford sisters aren’t
allowed to date.

CAMERON
Uh huh...yeah. [What if?]


INT. ENGLISH CLASS - DAY

A room full of bored seniors doodle and stare off into space.
MR. MORGAN, an educated, no-nonsense man in his early thirties
presides.

MR. MORGAN
Okay then. What did everyone think of The Sun Also Rises?

A girl raises her hand and offers her appraisal.

ROMANTIC GIRL
I loved it.
(She sighs)
It was sooo romantic.

Kat, the girl we saw as we entered the school, is wearing a camo top in
preparation for her daily war against high school ignorance.

KAT
(disgusted)
Romantic? Hemingway?! He was an abusive alcoholic
misogynist who squandered half his life hanging around Picasso
trying to nail his leftovers.

The other students roll their eyes.

JOEY DONNER, a slicked-back knock-off of Slater from Saved By The Bell
makes fun of her from his row.

JOEY
As opposed to a bitter self-righteous
hag who has no friends?

A few giggles. Kat fumes from her seat without looking back.

MR. MORGAN
Pipe down, Chachie.

KAT
I guess in this society being male and an asshole
makes you worthy of our time.
What about Sylvia Platt or Charlotte Bronte or
Simone de Beauvoir?

Patrick suddenly steps into the classroom, late.

PATRICK
What’d I miss?

KAT
The oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education.

PATRICK
Good.
(immediately turns and leaves)

MR. MORGAN
(Shouting after him)
Hey, hey!

JOEY
Uh, Mr. Morgan. Is there any chance we could get Kat to
take her Mydol before she comes to class?

More snickers from the class.

MR. MORGAN
Some day you’re gonna get bitch-slapped and I’m not gonna do
a thing to stop it. And Kat. I want to thank you for your
point of view.

She smiles to herself, her social indignation justified.

MR. MORGAN
(continuing)
I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those
years of upper middle class suburban oppression. It must be tough.

She deflates and becomes bitter again.

MR. MORGAN
(continuing)
But the next time you storm around the PTA crusading for better
lunch meat, or whatever it is you white girls complain about,
ask them why they can’t buy a book written by a black man!

Two of the White Rasta kids from earlier take up his cry of inequality.

WHITE RASTA CHORUS
That’s right mon!

MR. MORGAN
Don’t even get me started on you two!

They grumble apologetically and quickly shut up.
Kat is fuming again.

KAT
Anything else?

MR. MORGAN
Yeah. Go to the office. You’re pissing me off.

KAT
What?! Mr. Morgan!

MR. MORGAN
Later!

Kat gets up in a tiff and on her way out hits Joey in the face with her books.

abusive- obelżywy, obraźliwy
apologetically- przepraszająco
appraisal- szacunek, ocean, oszacowanie
butthead- idiota, dureń
crusade- walka
deflate- wypuszczać powietrze
delusional- osoba z urojeniami, pomyleniec
distract- rozpraszać
doodle- bazgrać, gryzmolić
edgy- nerwowy, podekscytowany
geek- kujon; dziwak
giggle- chichot, chichotać
grumble- szemrać, sarkać, pomrukiwać
hostile- wrogi
indignation- wzburzenie, oburzenie
inequality- nierówność
justify- uzasadniać, usprawiedliwiać
knock-off- tania kopia, marna koia
lame- marny, kiepski
leftovers- resztki
loquacious- gadatliwy
misogynist- mizogin
mutter- mruczeć, mamrotać
perish- niszczeć, rozpadać się
pine- pragnąć, usychać z pragnienia lub tęsknoty
pipe down- zamknij się
pissing somebody off- wkurzać kogoś
prerequisite- warunek wstępny
preside- przewodniczyć
PTA - Parent Teacher Association
pure- czysty, niewinny
rumor- plotka
slicked-back- przylizany do tyłu, z nażelowanymi włosami
smit- porażony
snicker- parskać śmiechem, parsknięcie
sophomore- student drugiego roku (am)
spill- rozlać
squander- trwonić
studious- pilny, pracowity
takeover- przejęcie, zagarnięcie
tiff- sprzeczka
uptight- nerwowy
weed- trawka, marihuana
The Sun Also Rises- “Słońce też wschodzi” (tytuł powieści Hemingway’a)

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