Taki o tekścik, pełno błędów gramatycznych.
: 23 sie 2008, 20:58
Witam wszystkich. Mam do was prośbę, szczególnie do tych znających gramatykę bardzo dobrze. Staram się pisać po angielsku, lecz róż
nie mi to wychodzi. Mam na celu napisać opowiadanie takie o ż
yciu gangstera. Interesuję się tym. Uczę się angielskiego od niedawna i chciałbym spróbować moich sił. Proszę o sprawdzenie poniż
szego tekstu:
Joey Abell was born in 11 July 1986 in his parents home. As small child he didn't go to school, but he wasn't stupid. When he had 9 years, he made his first buisness - Joey sold a crack. When he had 11 years he lost his parents - Joey - stupid and unaware - sold the crach on Mexican's turf, he usually ran away before them.
Joey entered his home, closed the doors and listened to his parents. Father asked -
- Whassup, young? You look like you ran away before a devil! - with smile and cigarette in his mouth he went to the room and watch TV. Mum escaped from the kitchen and looked on Joey with sad face. Joey knows there will be a wrangle;
- Where do you were so long?! - mum asked,
- Aaaah, I played football with my homie, Hector Dorado,
- Umm.. - mum smiled, That's good, it's a nice boy. Now wash your hands and eat the dinner!
- M'kay, mum! - he said and went to the bathroom. Suddenly he scared. He heard rumble of broken doors and shots from machinegun. Joey got down on the ground. He never was so scared. When shots silenced, Joey heard voices with distinct latino's accent.
- Where's that rat?
- I Don't know.. Ey! Alejandro! Check the cases, maybe they had there some money!
- Yeee', I have sumthin' there! Umm.. $500!
- OK, so far so good, let's get outta' of 'ere. Alejandro, get these dead presidents and get off!
- This bitch is moving - said guy probably called Viatore - Can I kill her? - asked with smile on his face.
- Yee, she heard our names - said someone, probably chief - kill her! - Rumble of gun shot. Joey cried, but he closed his mouth very fast. He prayed that Latinos did not hear that.
- Shshsh.. I heard sumthin'. - started Viatore - Marco, c'mon there..
- Fuck this! Let's bounce out, Alejandro, take the money, Viatore! Gimme tha' coctail, we'll grill this piece of shit.
- How 'bout our weapons? - asked Alejandro.
- What? It's AK47 holmes! Russian automats, I won't lose it here! C'mon.
- OK - agreed both guys. Sound of pounded glass. House was burn. He runned away from this fire. Joey ran straight with cry on his face. He fell both hate and sadness to Latino's guys.
Next, Joey Abell was a typical gangsta. He stealed and robed with Hector Dorado. Half Latino - half Arfoamerican. Friends ideally reached an agreement. When Joey had 20 years, Hector died by a drive-by. He can't believe it. He hidden for like two years. Now Ice lives in a ghetto. He doesn't know nobody there. Does he survive? We will see..
_________________________
Proszę tylko o sprawdzenie, zero komentarzy " Pełno błędów " , "Gramatyczne gówno, nie ma co sprawdzać nawet ". Na innym forum dot. języka angielskiego właśnie takie odpowiedzi otrzymałem.
Joey Abell was born in 11 July 1986 in his parents home. As small child he didn't go to school, but he wasn't stupid. When he had 9 years, he made his first buisness - Joey sold a crack. When he had 11 years he lost his parents - Joey - stupid and unaware - sold the crach on Mexican's turf, he usually ran away before them.
Joey entered his home, closed the doors and listened to his parents. Father asked -
- Whassup, young? You look like you ran away before a devil! - with smile and cigarette in his mouth he went to the room and watch TV. Mum escaped from the kitchen and looked on Joey with sad face. Joey knows there will be a wrangle;
- Where do you were so long?! - mum asked,
- Aaaah, I played football with my homie, Hector Dorado,
- Umm.. - mum smiled, That's good, it's a nice boy. Now wash your hands and eat the dinner!
- M'kay, mum! - he said and went to the bathroom. Suddenly he scared. He heard rumble of broken doors and shots from machinegun. Joey got down on the ground. He never was so scared. When shots silenced, Joey heard voices with distinct latino's accent.
- Where's that rat?
- I Don't know.. Ey! Alejandro! Check the cases, maybe they had there some money!
- Yeee', I have sumthin' there! Umm.. $500!
- OK, so far so good, let's get outta' of 'ere. Alejandro, get these dead presidents and get off!
- This bitch is moving - said guy probably called Viatore - Can I kill her? - asked with smile on his face.
- Yee, she heard our names - said someone, probably chief - kill her! - Rumble of gun shot. Joey cried, but he closed his mouth very fast. He prayed that Latinos did not hear that.
- Shshsh.. I heard sumthin'. - started Viatore - Marco, c'mon there..
- Fuck this! Let's bounce out, Alejandro, take the money, Viatore! Gimme tha' coctail, we'll grill this piece of shit.
- How 'bout our weapons? - asked Alejandro.
- What? It's AK47 holmes! Russian automats, I won't lose it here! C'mon.
- OK - agreed both guys. Sound of pounded glass. House was burn. He runned away from this fire. Joey ran straight with cry on his face. He fell both hate and sadness to Latino's guys.
Next, Joey Abell was a typical gangsta. He stealed and robed with Hector Dorado. Half Latino - half Arfoamerican. Friends ideally reached an agreement. When Joey had 20 years, Hector died by a drive-by. He can't believe it. He hidden for like two years. Now Ice lives in a ghetto. He doesn't know nobody there. Does he survive? We will see..
_________________________
Proszę tylko o sprawdzenie, zero komentarzy " Pełno błędów " , "Gramatyczne gówno, nie ma co sprawdzać nawet ". Na innym forum dot. języka angielskiego właśnie takie odpowiedzi otrzymałem.