Proszę o sprawdzenie.......

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Re: Proszę o sprawdzenie.......

Postautor: zirk » 15 lut 2006, 10:27

Chce starać się o wyjazd do Stanów za pośrednictwem biura studenckiego. W tym celów stworzyłam krótki esej o sobie. Obawiam się jednak ż…e mogłam popełnić jakieś błędy. BArdzo proszę o pomoc, sprawdzenie tej pracy i ewentualne sugestie jeśli komus przyjdzie do głowy jakieś dodatkowe mądre zdanie. Będę bardzo wdzięczna.

My name is Aneta. I come from Poland. I am 23 years old. I was born on August 8th 1983, in Radom.
I started my education at a local primary school in 1990 and I was studying there until 1998. During this time I was very active person. I was a member of school chorus. We often took part in school performances. Then I also started learning to play on guitar. I took part in many school competitions. I supplanted first place in biological competition and second place in ecological competition.
After primary school graduation, I attended Jan III Sobieski High School in Radom for four years. I liked my school very much and I participated fully in the life of the school. While I was learning there, I actively took part in many students’ unions. I often took part in various competitions, theatricals and matches. At High School I decided that I would be a teacher in the future. To check myself in this part I look after my neighbor’s son in my free time. I helped him to do homework, we read book together and I prepared meals for him.
At present, I am studying pedagogy at Academy of Special Education in Warsaw. I will graduate in 2007. I practiced at nursery school, school and common room for children. I have decided to work at the CCUSA camp because I really like spending time with children.
In August I got married. I have many duties. I tidy my house almost every day. I prepare meals, do the washing up, do the laundry, and do the ironing. I like when there is clean in it so housework gives me pleasure.
In Radom I have lived since childhood with my whole family. My mother is nurse and my father is an electrician. I have three younger brothers I also have sister She is studying economy in Radom. I always spent with them a lot of time. I took care of them when my parents were at work.
What can I say about myself? I am very active person. I have always enjoyed sports activities. I like riding a bike and swimming. I also enjoy traveling and meeting people. It is one of the reasons I have decided to work at the CCUSA camp.
I am a hard- working person. Twice a week I attend course in English. I am also reliable and reasonable. I often think about my future. To make sense of my life, I see a satisfying job.
Getting to the end of my essay, I would like to say that I am very kind, sociable and helpful person.
I think I will be an appropriate candidate to work in this program.
zirk
newbie
 
Posty: 4
Rejestracja: 01 sty 1970, 1:00


Re: Proszę o sprawdzenie.......

Postautor: smartie » 15 lut 2006, 10:31

Aneto, sprawdzę i odeślę Ci za jakąś godzinkę, dwie, OK?

pozdrawiam,
s.
pozdrawiam, s.
smartie
junior fellow
 
Posty: 162
Rejestracja: 02 sie 2005, 23:00

Re: Proszę o sprawdzenie.......

Postautor: Visitor » 15 lut 2006, 12:01

Czesc,
powiem tak, jestes tylko czlowiekiem i mozesz popelniac bledy, to jest ludzkie, poza tym angielski nie jest Twoim jezykiem ojczystym wiec tym bardziej nie staralbym sie pisac tego eseju bezblednie. Najwazniejsze, zeby to co piszesz/mowisz bylo zrozumiale dla tej drugiej osoby, jesli jest (a Twoj esej wg mnie jest bardzo fajnie napisany) to juz jest swietnie. Niech to bedzie cos od Ciebie nawet z bledami, ale cos co sama stworzylas oni to tez doceniaja - Amerykanie (bo wnioskuje ze tam jedziesz) bardzo lubia ludzi samodzielnych. Tak samo jest z tzw bariera jezykowa i strachem przed popelnianiem bledow podczas konwersacji - nie nalezy sie tym przejmowac :-)
Kiedys tez chcialem zeby mi wszystko nauczycielka sprawdzila i powiedziala czy dobrze napisalem i to ona mi powiedziala ze mam prawo do bledow i (moze to zabrzmi troche dziwnie :-) te bledy czasami dobrze wygladaja :-)) Tez pozniej pisalem kilka esejow i zawsze robilem to samodzielnie (oczywiscie ktos moze rzucic na to okiem to na pewno nie zaszkodzi) i byly bardzo dobrze odbierane :-)
To oczywiscie tylko moje zdanie :-))
Zycze powodzenia i swietnych wspomnien z wyjazdu!
Pozdrawiam,
Wojtek
Visitor
 

Re: Proszę o sprawdzenie.......

Postautor: smartie » 15 lut 2006, 12:34

Aneto, poprawiłam tylko drobiazgi, czasem troszkę składnię (w załączeniu) ... zgadzam się z Wojtkiem, to jest Twoj tekst i pisany "twoim sercem" ... wierzę, ż…e wybiorą Cię do programu, bo jak na młodą osobę bardzo wiele już… zrobiłaś w swoim ż…yciu, a Twoje pierwsze doświadczenia pedagogiczne są wielkim atutem.

pozdrawiam,
s.

-----------------
My name is Aneta. I am 23 years old and I come from Poland. I was born on August 8th 1983 in Radom. I started my education in a local primary school in 1990 which I continued until 1998. During that time I was a very active person. I was a member of the school chorus that frequently participated in school performances. At that time I also started taking my guitar lessons. Also I took part in many school contests. I was the winner of the biological contest and came second best at the ecological contest.
Having completed my primary school I continued my education in Jan III Sobieski High School in Radom for four years. Not only did I like my school very much but also fully participated in many of the school activities. During that time I was an active member of many students’ organizations. On top of that I also loved to take part in various competitions, theatricals and matches. And it was while I was in High School that I decided to become a teacher in the future. And to check myself in this role I looked after my neighbour’s son in my free time. I helped him with his homework, prepared meals for him, and we read books together. At present I study pedagogy at Academy of Special Education in Warsaw which I plan to graduate in 2007. As part of my studies I did some practical trainings at nursery school, primary school and a common room for children.
I have decided to work at the CCUSA camp because I do enjoy working and spending time with children. In August last year I got married and therefore I have many duties. Not only do I tidy my house almost every day, but also prepare meals, do the washing up, the laundry and the ironing. I do like it when it is clean around and that is why housework gives me a lot of pleasure.
I have lived in Radom with my whole family since I was a child. My mother is a nurse and my father is an electrician. I have three younger brothers and a sister who studies economy in Radom. I used to spend a lot of time with my brothers and sister, and I took care of them while my parents were at work.
What else can I say about myself? I am a very active and outgoing person who has always enjoyed all kinds of sports activities. For example, I like riding a bike and swimming. Also I enjoy travelling and meeting new people. And this is another reason why I would like to work at the CCUSA camp. I am a hard-working person who attends English classes twice a week. I am also a reliable and reasonable person who often thinks about the future. And to make sense of my life, I seek a satisfying job.
As I am slowly getting towards the end of my essay I would also like to add that I am also a kind, sociable and helpful person.

I do hope that you will find my activities, experience and personal qualities interesting enough to give me a chance to work at the CCUSA camp.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best regards,

XX
pozdrawiam, s.
smartie
junior fellow
 
Posty: 162
Rejestracja: 02 sie 2005, 23:00

Re: Proszę o sprawdzenie.......

Postautor: Visitor » 15 lut 2006, 15:49

Dziękuje pięknie za pomoc. Jestem bardzo, bardzo, bardzo a nawet bardziej wdzięczna.
Visitor
 

Re: Proszę o sprawdzenie.......

Postautor: Isabella Erickson » 23 lis 2016, 5:51

Hi Aneta,
I am mukul from bangladesh. you say you like sports activities me also like some sports such as football, cricket, tanis , carom etc and every day main home gym by our best recumbent bike.
:ban: my name is isabella erickson i love home exercsie. my website is http://recumbentbikelab.com/
Isabella Erickson
newbie
 
Posty: 1
Rejestracja: 23 lis 2016, 5:15


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