No such thing as a bargain


Artykuł pochodzi z pisma "Guardian"

It's not entirely unlikely that at this moment you are sitting down - indeed, reclining - dressed in a rather too vivid sweater, a new pair of polyester-mix socks from a super-market six-pack, and your favourite make of underpants that are, unfortunately for your vitals, the wrong size. In other words, you are wearing a combination of Christmas presents out of a brow-beaten sense of familial duty.
Your fowl-thickened stomach is pressing at the next notch on your overly shiny new belt, your throat is dry and your head feels weighted with physical and existential pain. Why has it been designated that in this most hollowing of weeks, when you are reduced to a wreck of self-loathing and spiritual emptiness, the sales should begin?
Alas, this is one of many seasonal mysteries, to rank alongside the question of why The Great Escape is a Christmas film. There are only two rational explanations as to why anyone would put themselves through the hell of the winter sales, having already suffered the forced-fed hell of family festivity. One is to seek sartorial redress for the clothes you have just been given and the other is to get a bargain.
Do bargains really exist? Yes. Do bargains really exist that involve clothes that you want to wear? Very rarely. Thus the safest thing to do is to watch The Great Escape and to avoid retail outlets until you regain some measure of psychological balance (say around late February).
However, if you are too weakened to resist the lure of saving money by spending it, then go for something that will last, like a classic designer dinner suit. You can pick one up for a song and it's bound to come in handy - if only to hide that sweater.

alas- niestety
brow-beaten- zastraszony
come in handy- być użytecznym, przydatnym
designate- wyznaczać, przeznaczać
entirely- całkowicie
festivity- obchody, uroczysty nastrój
fowl- drób, dzikie ptactwo
hollowing- szerzący pustkę
lure- urok, powab, czar
notch- nacięcie, wycięcie
recline- ułożyć się w pozycji leżącej
regain- odzyskać
resist- oprzeć się (czemuś), powstrzymać się
sartorial- krawiecki, dotyczący ubioru
self-loathing- wstręt, obrzydzenie do samego siebie
unlikely- nieprawdopodobne
vitals- narządy niezbędne do życia
wreck- wrak

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