Man on the Moon



INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, HALLWAY - 1957 - DAY

Stanley hurries up to Andy's shut door. We hear little Andy
doing VOICES.

ANDY
(as WORRIED GIRL)
But professor, why are the monsters
growing so big?
(now as BRITISH
PROFESSOR)
It's something in the jungle water.
I need to crack the secret code.

Stanley rolls his eyes. He opens the door...

INT. KAUFMAN HOUSE, ANDY'S ROOM - 1957 - DAY

ANDY, 8, performing for the wall. Andy is
happy and enthusiastic... as long as he's acting.

ANDY
(as BRITISH
PROFESSOR)
Maybe I should talk to the natives.
(as dancing NATIVES)
Shoom boom boo ba! Shoom boom boo
ba --

STANLEY
Andy!

ANDY
(startled)
Oh!

The boy suddenly turns off, becoming introverted... awkward.
Frustrated, Stanley stares at his son.

STANLEY
Andy, this has to stop. Our house
isn't a television station. There
is not a camera in that wall.

Andy glances over at the wall.

STANLEY
(trying to cope)
Son... listen to me. It isn't
healthy. You should be outside,
playing sports.

ANDY
But I've got a sports show.
Championship wrestling, at five.

STANLEY
(he blows his top)
You know that's not what I meant!
Look, I'm gonna put my foot down!
No more playing alone. You wanna
perform, you GOTTA have an audience!

ANDY
(he points at the
wall)
B-but I have them.

STANLEY
No! That is NOT an audience! That
is PLASTER! An audience is people
made of flesh! They -- live and
breathe! Got it?!

Andy thinks, considering his options. Then, he nods.



INT. NY NIGHTCLUB - 1975

The club is empty. At the bar, the manager cleans up. Andy
eagerly comes over. Offstage, his presence is soft, placid
-- his voice barely above a whisper.

ANDY
So, Mr. Besserman, same slot
tomorrow...?

MANAGER
(awkward)
Eh, I dunno... Andy. I'm...
thinkin' of letting you go...

ANDY
You're firing me??

You don't even pay me!

MANAGER
Look -- I don't wanna seem
insulting. But... your act is like
amateur hour: Singalongs...
puppets... playing records…

ANDY
What do you want? "Take my wife,
please"??

MANAGER
Sure! Comedy! Make jokes about the
traffic. Do impressions. Maybe a
little blue material...

ANDY
I don't swear. I -- I don't do what
everyone else does!

MANAGER
Well, everyone else gets this place
cookin'! Pal, it's hard for me to
move the booze when you're singin'
"Pop Goes The Weasel."

Andy stares, disheartened.

MANAGER
I'm sorry. You're finished here.

Andy starts crying.

The manager is dumbfounded. He doesn't know what to do.

Tears are rolling pitifully down Andy's cheeks. The manager
is confused -- totally disoriented. Shamed, Andy covers his
face, then runs out. Silence. The manager stares after
him... having no idea what just happened.

EXT. NY NIGHTCLUB - 1975 - NIGHT

Sobbing Andy leaves. He steps onto the
sidewalk -- and IMMEDIATELY STOPS CRYING. Just like that.

Andy lifts his big case and starts walking. Andy shakes his
head angrily.

He turns down a dark street, hurrying alone through an
unsavory New York neighborhood. But then... TWO MEN
appear... silently approaching. Andy stops uncertainly --
debating whether to turn around. But in that second -- the
thugs are upon him, glaring menacingly.

THUG #1
Give us your wallet.

Andy stares fearfully. An anxious moment. He thinks...
considering his options.

Then, he suddenly stammers in a thick FOREIGN ACCENT.

ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
I -- doo not unterstand!!

THUG #1
Give us your money!

ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
What?? What mooney? Abu daboo! I
do not have mooney!

The thugs glance at each other.

ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
Pleaze! I just move to America
yezterday! I do not know!

THUG #1
What's in the case?

ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
NO! Eeet, eet is just perzonal
trifles from my homeland --

THUG #2
Shut up! Gimme that thing!

The guy snatches the case. He impulsively BREAKS the
lock... and clothes and records fall out.

The thugs are dismayed.

THUG #1
Goddamn immigrants!

THUG #2
This guy's pathetic. Let's go.

Harsh glances. They angrily turn and leave.

Andy takes a nervous breath, then starts picking his things
off the street. He shouts after the guys:

ANDY (AS FOREIGN MAN)
Tank you veddy much...!


VOCABULARY

crack - łamać
native - krajowiec, tubylec
startled - przestraszony, zaskoczony
turn off - wyłączać, zamykać; tu: wyłączyć się, zamknąć się w sobie
introverted - introwertyczny, zamknięty w sobie
awkward - niezgrabny, niezręczny, zakłopotany
frustrated - sfrustrowany
stare - gapić się, wpatrywać się
glance- zerkać, rzucać okiem; spojrzenie
championship - mistrzostwa
wrestling- zapasy (dyscyplina sportowa)
blow one’s top- zdenerwować się
put one’s foot down - wyperswadować coś komuś, wymóc coś na kimś
audience - publiczność
flesh - ciało, mięso
got it? - „zrozumiałeś?”, “jasne?”, „dotarło?”
nod - skinąć głową
eagerly - ochoczo, gorliwie
come over- podchodzić
offstage - poza sceną
placid- łagodny, pogodny
barely - zaledwie
slot - wolny czas, okienko, tu: czas na występ
I dunno- I don’t know
fire - wyrzucić kogoś z pracy
insulting - obraźliwy
singalong- śpiewanie przy włączonym nagraniu
puppet- kukiełka, pacynka
pal - koleś, facet
booze - alkohol (pot.)
disheartened - zniechęcony, przygnębiony
dumbfounded - oniemiały
pitifully - żałośnie
confused - zakłopotany, zmieszany
sob - łkać
blue- tu: pornograficzny
unsavory - nieprzyjemny, podejrzany
approach - nadchodzić
debate - zastanawiać się
thug - zbir, bandzior
glare - patrzeć ze złością
menacingly - grożnie, ze złością
harsh- szorstki
stammer - jąkać się
gimme - give me
snatch - wyrwać
dismayed -rozczarowany, rozżalony
goddamn - cholerny
pathetic - żałosny


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