no = yes
maybe = no
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Sure... go ahead. = Don't you even dare!!
I'm not upset. = Of course I'm upset you moron!!!
You're so... manly. = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thights.
This kitchen is so inconvenient. = I want a new house.
I want new curtains. = and carpeting and furniture and wallpaper
Do you love me? = I'm gonna ask for something expensive
How much do you love me ? = I did sth today you're really not gonna like.
I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me?!! = [ too late, you're dead]
I'm not yelling = Yes, I'm yelling because i think it's important !!