Artykuły

Joke of the week

Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?” 
"Well, I see thousands of stars." 
"And what does that mean to you?" 
"Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?" 
"To me, it means someone has stolen our tent." 

Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.

Anagram time!
"The Morse Code" - Here Come Dots
"The Earthquakes" - That Queer Shake
"The Public Art Galleries" - Large Picture Halls, I Bet

Mind your… tongue? Hand?

Specialists on communication say we send more messages when we do not speak, than when we do. It is called body language. If so, what is the sign that means "yes", then? Most Europeans will agree its nodding the head. How about when we want to ask somebody to come closer to us? Pretty easily, we extend our palm, face it up and bend our fingers once or twice. And what if we wanted to indicate the number two? Nothing simpler, we flick the index and middle finger upwards with the palm facing us. In our native countries we use these gestures freely, and expect everyone to understand their meaning. Abroad, however, it turns out some natives have grown offended or misunderstood us. Why? Here is the catch: except for several universal gestures, most gestures mean something different in different countries. This is why once we are going to a foreign country we should get to know the body language used there. In other case we may insult someone by mistake and get into trouble, or at least make people laugh at us or ignore us.

Think of the "ok" symbol made up of the thumb and index finger forming a circle. Americans, notorious optimists, tend to use it too often. All is fine unless they show it in Brazil or in Greece. While in Greece it is a way of saying "get stuffed", in Brasil it is an extremely offensive way of showing we do not respect somebody in a sexual context. We are in for trouble. The Japanese, in turn, seeing the "Ok" ring will think the American is talking about money. How should our American show his or her optimism then? "Thumbs up" maybe? The Brazilian would understand that correctly, but the Greek would simply turn away and walk away or punch our poor American on the nose. "Thumbs up" is also offensive in Greece. How to hitch a ride then?

Now take the "two" symbol similar to the "Victory" gesture for instance. Once you go down an English pub try not to use it to tell the bartender that you want two more beers. If you do so, your pleasant evening may not be so pleasant anymore. For a Brit it is an insult, the same as the "middle finger up" sign. How to show the number two? Perhaps the "V" but with our palm facing the person? Of course not. It is the Churchill's "Victory" later used by Margaret Thatcher and Lech Wałęsa after all. Only the thumb and index at the right angle is a neutral "two" in Britain.

Here are some more juicy bits. In a Bulgarian hotel the receptionists asks us this: "Do you have your reservation?". Tired of the journey, instead of saying: ''Yes, of course", we only nod our head. To our surprise, we will hear him or her say: "I am afraid all our rooms have already been reserved". “Why, on earth?!” Bulgaria is the only country where shaking the head means "yes" and nodding "no". Turks also have a rather complicated "yes-no" system. If we shake our head from side to side to show we are content, the Turk will get it as agreement and if we toss our head as for saying “Hi!”, this will mean to him that we object. That’s not all. An American in Indonesia needs to go by rickshaw, so he calls the rickshaw driver with the typical gesture of beckoning. He bends the outstretched fingers once or twice, palm upwards, the rickshaw driver snaps something rudely and rides away. In Indonesia this gesture is made only when one summons an animal!

Check your vocabulary

Answer ker:
1. thumb;  2. object;  3. offensive;  4. bartender;  5. snapped;  6. rickshaw

A little bit easier: Do you know... show... what you mean?
We are used to that when we shake our head or show the palm of our hand everyone will understand that we say “no” or ask somebody to do something. This is not always so. A gesture which means this or that in our country will mean something different in another country. We must be careful how we show “two” in Great Britain, because we can offend somebody. Also it is not a good idea to show the ring of the thumb and index finger for “OK” in Greece and Brazil because it is a heavy offense. Bulgaria is the strangest country in this matter, because for “yes” the Bulgarians shake their heads and for “no” they nod. In Indonesia an Indonesian will think that we are calling an animal when we make the calling gesture bending our fingers and in Greece the sign of “thumbs up” does not mean “ok” but an insult.
How to hitch-hike then?

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