TEKST: BRUCE WENHAM
Well, it's another week and time to look through the papers again to see what jobs they have to offer (yawn). Just remember - when you're browsing through those pages of Job Ad Jargon, the scheming devils are wanting to conceal as much as they reveal - it's like a foreign language, worse than learning Chinese!
There are just so many companies looking for someone to be flexible. But you're cleverer and you know what they really mean don't you? - that you must be prepared to rush from the Tatry Mountains to the Baltic - as well as shoot off to Kazakhstan in half an hour.
There it is again! - a dynamic individual - come on, this is recruiters' most over-used word. Is the company really dynamic or will you be the only dynamism in a really boring office!
Stimulating position for the right person or demanding environment - you know you'll be working 8 days a week. No broth on Sunday after church.
Self-starter - really means that you're on your own - thrown in at the deep end. Hope there are no sharks about!
Needs a sense of humour - does this company want to create a happy atmosphere - or trying to tell you that if you don't have a sense of humour you'll go mad!
Someone to play a key role - someone to do the filing and bring them all a cup of Jacobs Kr�nung and doughnut in the morning, or someone to save a dying brand?
A quick learner - no training, in at the deep end. Forget about that MBA!
Attractive salary and benefits package - oh really? You know they just don't know how much they must pay to get the right person. They need to see everybody's CV first.
yawn - to take a deep involuntary breath because of drowsiness, boredom, etc
browsing - reading in a casual or haphazard way
ad - advert, advertisement
jargon - the terminology of a profession
scheming - plotting, planning
conceal - to hide completely or carefully; to keep secret; to disguise
shoot off - to rush away
broth - water in which vegetables and meat, etc have been boiled, used as soup
filing - arranging files/documents in an orderly way
doughnut - sweetened dough fried in fat
MBA - Master of Business Administration
salary - payment each month
benefits - company car, shares etc.